Marriage is beautiful to me. Falling in love and deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone is incredible. Yet, it seems like hardly anyone is getting married these days. The statistics for married couples, black couples at that, are shockingly low. There is a low marriage rate and a high divorce rate. I know that marriage is not easy and takes a lot of work, but I think that people can do it. Some of my peers in California have divorced parents who commonly divorce over “irreconcilable differences” which to me is a cop-out. I can’t imagine giving up and walking away from someone who I loved enough to vow to be with forever. I can’t imagine walking away from someone who I loved enough to build a home, a family, and a life with because of irreconcilable differences.
Many people do not have examples of marriages except for what they see on television or in movies. I, on the other hand, have an excellent one. My parents have been married for 24 years, 25 in October. My parents currently reside in California, the state where everyone gets divorced. People in California get divorced because you can get a big settlement, as in alimony and child support, without a pre-nuptial agreement. My parents have seen their share of hard times, but they’ve always managed to pull through.
In July 1995, my Dad decided that he wanted to go on a family vacation to see his father. We loaded up the van and headed to New Jersey. Halfway through our journey, our family of five became a family of four. We were involved in a fatal car accident in the state of Pennsylvania. Everyone was seriously injured except me. My baby sister Keziah, who was thirteen months old, did not leave Pennsylvania. She suffered from brain damage and died after arriving at the hospital. This was the hardest tribulation that my parents faced in their marriage. They both knew that this loss would either make them stronger or tear them apart. They did not want to give up on each other and their family. This was the time that they needed each other the most. When most couples pull away and quit, my parents pulled together.
I admire my parent’s strength and courage. I admire the fact that they did not give up and they fought for their marriage. Most of all, I admire their love. They give hope to a 20 year old girl like me that true love does exist and that I can find the man that I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with. If they can overcome so many obstacles and hard times, then I can too. No irreconcilable differences. No excuses. Just love.
